When Your Energy Is Measured in Spoons

What it means to live a life measured in spoons

I am a disabled woman in my fifties living with cerebral palsy. I use an electric wheelchair, I

live independently, and I manage my own daily life.

From the outside, that might not seem remarkable.

But what you don’t see is the cost.

Every action I take, getting out of bed, getting dressed, making a meal, comes with an energy price tag. And unlike most people, my energy is limited.

The best way I can explain this is through something called Spoon Theory.

A Life Measured in Energy

Spoon Theory, created by Christine Miserandino, describes energy as a finite resource.

Imagine starting each day with a small number of spoons. Each spoon represents a unit of

energy, and every task, no matter how ordinary, costs one or more spoons.

For most people, energy feels endless. They move through their day without thinking about

it.

For me, every decision matters. Because once my spoons are gone, that’s it.

The Hidden Cost of Ordinary Tasks

Let’s say I begin the day with twelve spoons.

Getting out of bed and transferring into my wheelchair takes focus, balance, and strength.

That’s one spoon gone.

Washing, using the bathroom, and getting dressed, tasks many people rush through without a second thought, can take three more.

Cooking or cleaning, with all the careful steps involved, costs another five.

By midday, I’ve used nine spoons, and I haven’t even left the house.

If I need to go out to a GP appointment or a hospital visit, the cost rises sharply. What looks like a routine errand to someone else can drain almost everything I have.

This is the reality of living with cerebral palsy; ordinary life is not ordinary.

When Exhaustion Is the Starting Point

In recent years, things have become harder.

Alongside CP, I now live with additional health conditions that further reduce my energy.

If I need to shower and change due to incontinence, I can lose nearly all my remaining spoons in one go.

Fatigue isn’t occasional; it’s constant.

Sleep, too, is a challenge. On a good night, I get around three hours.

That means I often start the day already exhausted, with fewer spoons than I need.

And still, life expects to be lived.

The Calculations You Never See

Before I do anything, I have to calculate:

Do I have enough energy for this?

If I do this now, what will it cost me later?

Will I still be able to cope tomorrow?

When I say, “I can’t,” it’s not a casual decision.

It’s the result of careful budgeting, trade-offs, and pushing my body as far as it will go.

But those calculations are invisible.

All people often see is the limit, not the effort behind it.

The Price of Independence

Living independently matters deeply to me. My wheelchair helps me conserve energy and

maintain control over my life.

But independence comes with a cost.

There is no one to share the load. No backup supply of energy.

When my spoons run out, everything stops.

Why This Matters

Disabled people are too often judged by what they cannot do, rather than recognised for

everything they already manage.

Fatigue is mistaken for laziness. Limits are mistaken for lack of effort.

But we are not lazy.

We are managing the energy we have, carefully, constantly, and often invisibly.

Spoon Theory puts words to that experience. It explains the balancing act behind every

decision, every task, every day.

Every Spoon Counts

Living with CP has taught me resilience, patience, and determination.

But above all, it has taught me this:

Energy is precious.

Every spoon counts.

Every choice has consequences.

Every day is an act of endurance.

If this helps you see disability a little differently, if it helps you understand what isn’t visible,

then every spoon it took to write this has been worth it.

Written by: Briony Beattie

The Busy Bee Initiative

Nothing about us without us.